Falling on knees in prayer

For an instant, after my last post, I was happier, seeing that there is, in fact, a vocal and present opposition to the war. As an American, I am responsible for it. But how will we ever repent for this?
Here are a few notes from the ground inside the war to give us a somber perspective:

"Then I met a lady working for the human rights field with these international organizations. I showed her a report about a poor Iraqi woman from Babylon, the militias killed her husband in Baghdad, then she was driven out with her children while she was pregnant. She gave birth in a toilet booth, for no one helped her to go into the nearby medical center. Her baby daughter died. She is living a sad life and is in need of help. The lady looked at the report and said: by God it is a sad story, but I am in a hurry, I want to travel. If you have a report about violence against the Iraqi women, I mean- a case of a woman being beaten by her husband or was forced into marriage against her will, send it to me so I can investigate the case and help her…
I remained astonished…..
Are these the stories that should be marketed in Iraq, violence against women?
Well, what about the woman who lost her husband because of the gangs and sectarian militias? Isn't she a victim of violence?
These are the priorities of the international organizations working for Iraq?
I mean; there is an Iraqi proverb that says: ((Arab wen, Tanbora wen??)) {"= A" talks in one direction, and "B" listens in another!!!}
Ha,ha,ha,…
How can I explain it to the non-Iraqis?
I mean- how far are we from this vain woman?
This Americanized, pampered woman, where is she living? And how can she help the Iraqi women?
Impossible to help them, for she lives in another world, and the salary she receives is a pity….

Before that, I visited an American organization here, to ask them what projects they are presenting to Iraq? What are they doing to the displaced families?
The Arabic employee said with pride: we have a team inside Iraq, and we arranged some projects to the displaced.
I said: pardon, but can I learn about these projects?
She said: we gave a bag to each displaced family, containing a towel, a soap bar, toothpaste and toothbrushes.
I kept staring at her face; is she sane, or nuts?
Where is the food after which they can brush their teeth and wash their hands with soap?
Ha,ha,ha,…
I wish I knew who puts down the work plans of these naïve, nut organizations? And who finances them?
They remind me of Marie Antoinette when the French people were starving for the lack of bread, and she said naively: well, why don't you feed them with biscuits?
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And I remembered now a person I met some months ago. He is an Iraqi living in America, his wife is an American. He works in geology and well drilling… then, after the war on Iraq, he presented himself as an expert in marshes, and he started working with international organizations visiting the marshes and writing reports about them…
When I entered the offices of the organization he works with here in Amman, I found the walls covered with pictures of beautiful birds; large numbers of birds of different kinds, and written below them that these birds used to live in the Iraqi marshes habitat, and this project is to redraw these birds into their environment…
I turned to the American woman who works in the office and asked: and what about the people in the marshes? Do you have a project to improve their lives?
She laughed, blushing: no, we have nothing for the people, we are an organization caring for nature…
How nice! I felt happy because of this humanitarian organization that cares about nature, birds, and sparrows, but doesn't listen to the misery of the poor hungry Iraqis…
We sat down, the three of us. The Iraqi talked and laughed a lot, he said he was just visiting here, and will go back to America where his wife and kids are…
I stared at him, telling myself: this is one of the Iraqis who didn't suffer an embargo, or hunger, or wars. He's been living in America since about 1978, he studied there, got married, obtained the nationality, and perhaps forgot something called Iraq in his life… after the war, he jumped forward and said: I am an Iraqi, went with the American and European organizations to the marshes and made himself an expert, pledging to follow up the redevelopment of the marshes, and received financing from different organizations to develop the marshes..........
I said to him: very well, now what have you developed in the marshes? Didn’t all the American and British newspapers cry about the marshes, and that Saddam Hussein starved them to death, dried up the water, and destroyed the environment? What have YOU done?
He said: thank God we now have a team measuring the biological changes in the environment, I mean- the percentage of oxygen and other elements in the water; if it is suitable for the birds that immigrated to come back… checking the humidity in the air, and if it is suitable for the birds to lay their eggs?
I said to him: and how will you announce to the birds that the environment is suitable? Will you put a balloon in the air on which is written- hay, come back, we fixed the environment for you here?
He laughed and said: well, I mean, they will return with time…
He gave me a book published on excellent paper and very fancy printing, full of bird's pictures and their life story…
I said: well, what about the Iraqi families in the marshes, did you build any schools for them? Clinics? Did you provide drinking water purifying stations for them? Have you developed their lives and compensated them for the poverty of the past years?
He said, indignantly: this isn't our business, this is done by other organizations or the government. Our business is only with the environment and the birds. We set up a web site, and written all the necessary information, and if someone likes to come along and invest or create a business there, he's free to do so……
I hid my rage, and smiled….
In Iraq, we have a nice name describing the fools, with a genuine Iraqi word: dupe…
Ha,ha,ha
Whenever I remembered that bourgeois, that word jumps to my mind, why?
I don't know............
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These are the models that entered Iraq after the occupation, then deserted and run away, after running out of their lies, and stealing the financing from naïve or evil organizations, god only knows…
But the marshes and its people remained poor, crushed, and forgotten creatures, whose lives didn't develop with anything real, their story was exploited to draw donations and outside financing, and that was the end of the movie…
This is the story of the entire Iraqi people, who was dealt with in the same way as the people of the marshes; lies and exaggerated stories in the media to draw financing and sympathy. And the result- nothing substantial was achieved, on the contrary, the financing was stolen or used in petty projects, and the poor Iraqi families were left starving of hunger, deprivation, and neglect….
The story of the war on Iraq is one of the biggest shameful stories in the history of humanity…
It will remain to be told thus, until the Day of Judgment…
Told as an evidence of lies, injustice and deception, of how someone can put on the guise of virtue, honor and mercy to save the lives of innocent people, and the result was- more innocent souls crushed, the lives of those remaining alive embittered, and their daily life's motto becomes: today is better than tomorrow….

We shall keep on waiting until the American occupation's nightmare is removed, and they go out of Iraq…
Then, the Iraqis will go back to the proverb: tomorrow will be better; we will unite our ranks and build our country with our own hands…..
Amen…."

And from the ground inside Iraq:

"Humanitarian organizations are warning that three Iraqi women are to be executed next month. The women are Wassan Talib, Zainab Fadhil and Liqa Omar Muhammad. They are being accused of 'terrorism', i.e. having ties to the Iraqi resistance. It could mean they are relatives of people suspected of being in the resistance. Or it could mean they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. One of them gave birth in the prison. I wonder what kind of torture they've endured. Let no one say Iraqi women didn't get at least SOME equality under the American occupation- we are now equally as likely to get executed.

And yet, as the situation continues to deteriorate both for Iraqis inside and outside of Iraq, and for Americans inside Iraq, Americans in America are still debating on the state of the war and occupation- are they winning or losing? Is it better or worse.

Let me clear it up for any moron with lingering doubts: It’s worse. It’s over. You lost. You lost the day your tanks rolled into Baghdad to the cheers of your imported, American-trained monkeys. You lost every single family whose home your soldiers violated. You lost every sane, red-blooded Iraqi when the Abu Ghraib pictures came out and verified your atrocities behind prison walls as well as the ones we see in our streets. You lost when you brought murderers, looters, gangsters and militia heads to power and hailed them as Iraq’s first democratic government. You lost when a gruesome execution was dubbed your biggest accomplishment. You lost the respect and reputation you once had. You lost more than 3000 troops. That is what you lost America. I hope the oil, at least, made it worthwhile."

How will we ever repent for this?

It was not enough - the standing in the center of Asheville, dressed in Black on Friday afternoons, the marching, the writing, the exile from my home country.

At least let us acknowledge in our body counts
the full number of deaths.

May God forgive us.