Sunday, October 28, 2007

A Seeker

This blog has been added to the list of other Quaker blogs and in reading others, I feel that somehow I should/could/ought to be more, well, religious or at least "spiritual" as I write.

It is easy to be talking about G*d when in the company of Friends. Yet I hesitate here lest I be mistaken for a missionary. But wait -- if a Quaker up and sells her home, leaves her Meeting and Friends, gives away everything she owns, and leaves her country for a place she has never been because she senses some inner "call from God", is she not then a "missionary"?

Aaarghhh. But see, a "missionary" here is someone - usually an evangelical, a Mormon, an Adventist, who is bringing the "Gospel" (in many cases here to people who have already heard it all their lives but from Rome) to people, urging them to convert, repent, forswear, whatever.... and I am certainly not that. I have enough on my plate with my own converting repenting forswearing and all. I am a devout Universalist/Pagan Friend believing the G*d speaks in all languages, through all hearts, in all tongues and never ever stops publishing.

This First Day, I prepare to go sit with Friends at the Self-Realization Fellowship which is as close as I have come here to finding Friends.

Perhaps I am comfortable saying that I feel "led" by G*d. That is on my good days. Other days I stumble about saying "Oy Vey, what am I doing here?" Perhaps I can just say I am a "follower" - but that is only when I actually SEE the Light.. Wait, wait, there is a good Quaker term here-- how about "Seeker"?

I came "seeking" to broaden myself, to be perhaps of greater service than I could be at home, to see the world from a different angle, to escape the drumbeats of war which were searing my heart, to uncover and soothe the wound of slavery in our hemisphere, to stand in solidarity with the poor, to live in languages other than my native tongue, to dispel habits, to mirror back to the world life in the developing world, to test my faith.

I am not certain that I am being of much service. For the rest, I am plodding along.

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