Monday, February 9, 2009

Running with Wolves

I have had an extraordinary event

I have just completed four years here based on a strong but somewhat vague call.

It was a sort of carrot and stick call: to escape America, help Haiti, heal the wounds of slavery, live in another culture, then to find like minded travelers, go back to the earth, form a center for conscious growth, form a school based on Quaker principles, set up a center for conscious dying...... all a rather broad agenda...

So after four years, having done a bit of the first four and stumbled on the fifth, last week, I was ready to hand in my resignation, return to the States, and bask in the light of Obama. After all, hard times are hitting home. There is work that I could do there. Perhaps more work even than here. Organizing soup kitchens, shelters, building coalitions- I am good at all that stuff. I could do all of that.

Wouldn't I be more useful there? Back home?

Maybe I was just being grandiose? (I can get that way)

Certainly it was a two or three lifetime dream and why shouldn't I just be content with what I had done, which wasn't bad, after all. (Some call it selling out, others call it being realistic, who is to judge?)

We talked, the Almighty and me. I'll admit that I should have more worshipful attitude but S/he evidently approves of my feisty approach.

Well, tolerates it anyway.

Ok, I talked. She listened.

"Look here", I sezs, (once a NYer, always a NYer),"either you make it a whole lot more interesting for me here, or I am bolting, get it?"

"Either I start to see that I am really needed here, or I go home, ok?"

"Either I get a place in the country where I can hug the trees in peace without being harrassed by the men and the loud music and the motoconchos or it's back to North Carolina for me. Got it? I will just quit."

I do this periodically with God. Pack my things and go to the end to the road. I am usually back by supper.

Not much to be gained in fighting the Almighty, I have learned.

But it is useful to speak up!

WAIT UP Just a MINUTE - intolerable working conditions here on the ground. Need more to continue. We have Corruption and Drugs and Rampant Prostitution and half the NGOs are living REALLY large and not doing much and the Christians, in PARTICULAR, are behaving REALLY badly and and and and and and and (here i disolve into sobs and end up on the floor kicking my feet in the air)

So yesterday I was brought by a connection made through this blog, through my having posted as a Quaker, - someone with whom, thankfully, I have been sharing deep Quaker silence for the past month, to meet the head of the group of "wiccans"---

The feminist, anthropologist, who is now leading the group studying Jung, reading Women who Run with the Wolves, has had a life dream of forming a community.

She has envisioned an equality based spiritual center, a center for the earth restored, to help manifest the new paradigm.

There are no accidents.

She has been offered land in the mountains. A great deal of land.

Soon we will we travel north together and look at it.

I am going to go out and buy my machete.

Well done, God.

(and that was pretty fast work, impressive...... and, thanks... I may get to worshipful later, I hope, because it is certainly more fun than angry!)

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