Sunday, January 18, 2009

Advising Obama from Offshore

Dear President Obama,

I am honored to advise you on how to proceed in Hispaniola.

First, on the matter of Ambassadors, who are the public face of our Nation, let us just talk casting here, since the Ambassadors are only here to carry out your policies as delivered to the State Department.

Both these countries have very young populations so it would help if you could appoint people who actually knew who Juan Luis Guerra and Wyclef Jean are.

Would it be too much to ask that they be able to program their own ipods?

For the Dominican Republic, we are looking for someone who is, well, simply gorgeous. I wonder if Antonio Banderas is free? Now, he would do just perfectly. But, it would also be subtly important here in this land of machismo, if you could find us a Latina who can dance salsa in three inch heels.

As for Haiti, we would need someone Black. This seems elementary to me. And someone of some stature, some importance, which will signify that we are indeed taking a serious interest in our sister republic. An Elder - a Statesman. Would Andrew Young do it? Do you suppose he might? or Julian Bond? I know that Haiti is not an easy place to be, but I think that it very important that after all these years, we signal to our sister republic that we see and hear her and will take her plight to heart.

I will keep you briefed with further policy recommendations,.

Thanks so much for your attention.

May the Light continue to shine upon and within you

Respectfully submitted,


Santo Domingo

cc: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

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